I wish I could write. I get these ideas but I never seem to be able to put them in words.
F. Scott Fitzgerald  (via pearleyednomad)

(Source: suiicune)


I’m sorry taco

(Source: mykingdomforapen)


Snohetta  New Norwegian Banknotes

Madison Diaries 2

Dear Gwen/Ethel/Jazmine/Future Me/Tumblr,

(since I realize I’m basically writing this for you guys cause I don’t know who I tell what anymore.)

9.25.14 (I’m still playing catch-up. Only wrote this about two weeks ago, though!)

I’m making friends in both my field and in IV!! Most are Christian, which makes me a little sad cause I think it’s important to have non-Christian friends. I really don’t want to trap myself into a Christian bubble, which, while lovely, isn’t the way to go. The only thing is, my department is also kinda Christian. One of the IV small groups is seriously JUST school psych people (6ish people), so I’m trying to avoid it, cause as cool as everyone is in it, I wanna branch out a liiiittttle. I am starting to form a sort of a core group right now of friends consisting other first-year IV peeps and my roommate, which is good. I like not-shallow relationships. My inner introvert’s more comfortable without the small talk. As for churches, I’m still not in love with any. Still looking for a diverse one with a more intellectual sermon cause I don’t like the fluffy stuff all that much.
I also wanna mention that I finally feel like this is the place I should be!! I had serious struggles deciding whether to go for the social work masters or this school psych PhD, but I was still wondering if I’d made the right choice up until last week. That isn’t to say that the program’s too hard so far (it’s been easier than undergrad aside from this week, during which I got distracted by TV and had to stay up late doing homework like a fool). I just wasn’t sure that it would lead to the career I wanted. BUT then I started emailing back and forth with an adjunct faculty member who doesn’t ever respond to emails (so the fact that she responded to MINE, a lowly first-year, is amazing) that works at the hospital/one of its clinics that focuses on neurodevelopmental disorder and its research. And she offered me a chance to get involved at the hospital, which is unheard of for first-years. And she said she’s been advocating for an ed psych student to get involved at the clinic on a two-year basis, which is also unheard of. And she offered that spot to ME, which is unheard of. And so I’ll be working at the hospital, which is unheard of. 
My end goal through this PhD program is to work with neurodevelopmental disorders (and the resulting special needs), esp. with affected kids. Which I can do through this hospital, and the training program that they offer (I’ll be applying to do it next year though it’s generally done by 3-years, I hear). So this is awesome and I finally feel like God’s affirming that I should be here.
This has been a little scattered but I’ve been a little scattered. Sorry!
Dr. Dre
Madison Diaries 1

I wrote this a little over a month ago to a friend, but feel like I should post it here for my own records and so that my friends using Tumblr can creep into my head a little more. :]

Madison rocks. I love it here - they have bike lanes on basically every street, it’s a stunning city with 5 lakes (and I reeeeally wanna live by water once I settle down, so this is great), and the food places are ridiculously good. I couldn’t imagine spending a PhD program down at U of I when cities like Madison exist. And my apartment’s great. Living with just one other person makes life easier than living with 3 others (like last year, which, while I did enjoy it, meant our apartment was often messy). I’ve let my interior decorator out (alternate dream job), and it’s a sweet place. Location isn’t, though. I left for home last Friday, and that night at 2 am (technically the next day), my roommate heard crazy loud screaming at the sketchy house/liquor store just in front of our place - we live behind it in a sort of a funky set-up. And a little while later, she heard at least 10 gunshots. So a man was murdered about 100 yards from our windows, and my roommate was interviewed as a witness. There’s now a memorial out there (someone put a stuffed bear on the memorial and it was burned to nonexistence a week later and then replaced. I don’t get it.). And in case that doesn’t prove we live in a bad neighborhood, our street’s also known as the place to pick up prostitutes soooooooooooo we’re moving ASAP. Which means in a year, but at least we know to avoid south Madison now. Not that it’s the worst, but there are constant police sirens and cop cars everywhere so it’s not ideal. Also, there’s a Burger King across the street that my roommate and I are pretty sure hosts a ton of drug deals over the course of the day. Essentially, this place is the Madison version of an unsafe neighborhood. Which is to say it’s still pretty safe.
Classes don’t seem awful. There’s a heck ton of research article-reading that I will never finish in time, but the workload isn’t intense compared to what I’m used to. I’m trying to take an extra class and get ahead cause I’m skipping out on an optional stats class the rest of my cohort is taking (hopefully I’m not overestimating my math abilities on this one, but stats was always kinda easy sooo). Maybe free up a summer or my dissertator year.
Mmm let’s see what else. We didn’t have internet at my place for 2 weeks, which sucked since I also didn’t have a data plan and EVERYTHING is done through email in grad school, but that is now taken care of. Mmm I’m not too big a fan of being new/not already having close friends. I’ve already had deep talkz with my roommate, but forming new relationships all the time takes work and my introvert self is tired. Mmm I am checking out Grad IV here, along with other fellowships (some church-based). I honestly wasn’t gonna do IV after the first LG had only like 15-20 people and most seemed over 25 (not the worst, but I want people my age D:). But that was before everyone showed up at the cookout yesterday (about 75ish people) most of which seemed to span the lower range of the 20s. I was tempted to join a ministry that spanned undergrad to grad since I’m still kinda undergrad age, but now I think I’m gonna stick to IV since I’d end up feeling older than just about everyone in the other ministries come next year. Hopefully a good choice. I don’t like feeling younger than everyone. Mmm what else. I’ve been told I have the advisor who’s never in her office and who I have to email a couple times before she responds, so that’s fun. I saw her in person FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME for a group meeting on Tuesday, which was weird. She was 10-20 years younger than expected. Not that that matters, but now I realize how little I know about her at all.
~Dr. Dre
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.
Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent (via leslieseuffert)
When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and you pray for rain.
Andrea Gibson (via psych-facts)
I Had a Stroke at 33